had my moments and close calls but i keep reminding myself that i'm in control of myself and what i choose to say and do.
at the end of the day i want to be able to lay my head down and know i did my best and was love to the world.
have a photo shoot tonight from a response on craigslist.
i'm for sure nervous but gonna own it and just have fun:)
got my buddy jordan, fellow photographer, to help me out.
i just need experience and exposure.
i want to make some business cards to hand to customers at starbucks and such.
i get a lot of people asking so just poppin them a card would be great.
well nothing much is new just enjoying life, getting ready for summer activities and trying to keep busy.
can't wait to get back to school and get a degree.
didn't do well this semester but i'm not giving up.
couldn't believe how stressed i was finding an outfit for tonight,
going out with rick after and just want to look cute.
i'm done downing myself and my body.
insecurity will eat you alive and ruin your life.
i'm me.
i'm beautiful, strong and talented.
i'm healthy and one of a kind.
i've been smoke free for one month and my boo bought me some ray bans as a reward:)
and just cause he is a fucking sweetie head.
i don't deserve him but do love him.
i don't know why i always fuck up relationships but i do.
just gotta relax, listen, love and support him.
do my thing, live my life get things in order and love love love.
that is my calling in life to just be kind to people and love.
whatever i do i will do it well and with honest good, selfless intent.
i'm always in such a hurry planning my life out and what to do next but i want to start waking up and just rolling with it and letting life happen.
its a detox, regrowth stage for me.
i guess you could say i'm having an identity crisis:)
haha sounds so lame to say.
i just know i'm no longer a little girl and i've got to believe in myself and start taking myself seriously and like the woman that i am or no one else will.
i'm okay on my own and own two feet.
i love my boy deeply but don't need him.
ps....its raining and its gorgeous:)
each day is a new chapter in life to start fresh...i'm exciteD:)
i need do to something fun though...with rick:)
o so back to stress about getting ready for my shoot tonight...i'm all done with piercings and not sure about tats...i want to be me, different and sassy, more artistic but also a woman, not a little girl.
show dem curves and be proud of my body:)
ha sounds so lame and girl to say but i'm just trying to figure out what to do to be taken more seriously and professionally, especially now that i'm looking into manager training at starbucks and doin this photo thing.
sigh...plus i'm dating a fuckin man and want to make him proud:)
gotta just live life with intent and have decided to wake up and do something no matter how little after work...cook dinner, read my book, take a photograph, organize bills, rollerblade, bake...something, anything.
gotta practice up.
change is coming and i gotta figure my shit out.
love love love.
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