fail

damn.
i didn't just not do well i fucking bomb my math midterm.
drop my overall grade 20 percent.
the second i walked out tears poured down my face...who do i call?
mom of course.
i miss her hugs and comforting.

i went into this semester so dedicated and determined.
slowly but surely i started slacking off not making homework a priority and look what happened?
i can't loose this class because if my gpa drops i loose my student aid.
therefore no school.

this is my last shot i have to stick with it and get it done this time.
its so hard working full time and trying to balance other things.
i am fucking broke as shit and can't seem to catch up.
i finally found a good guy i'm content with and don't have time for him.
of course he is sweet and supportive but i don't want to let him down.

its funny when one thing goes wrong all the rest spirals down with it.
i knew i was having some good days...so of course it has to come down sometime.
might seem like a negative outlook but its reality.
im not upset by it and don't let it keep my smile off but its just sucky sometimes.

i have finally found a major i'm confident and excited about and now a class that has nothing to do with it could take it all away from me.
sigh...i'm going to keep going, keep moving forward.

mom will be here in a month.
can't wait.