i miss the beach

its coming down like cats and dogs...non stop since i woke up at 6am this morning.
i miss the beach.
sigh...work.
i don't know why i psych myself out.
i do my job honestly, follow standards and don't talk badly about customers or partners.

i'm just always on edge and up tight...i spend to much time here i can't do that.
i just have so much i love about my life outside of here...been into natural medicine so i want to save and head over to the whole foods store and get some herbs.

cooking! matthew and i have been addicted to cookbooks and recipes.
i want to get stuff from the grocery and make delicious dinners every night for us!

well back to work...i just want it to be work, keep private not opening up and letting everyone know whats up, keep it surface level.
besides, this isn't my career choice and i am an adult.
i'm stayin off the radar...following dress code, staying quiet, getting my tasks done and following standards.
i will come in on time and leave when i'm off.
i let people intimidate me and control how i feel but you know what not anymore.
if you are rude its not okay and if you are questioning my work ethic...fuck no. you're done.
i'm sick of it.

i've got stuff to do.